I ADMIT THAT I DONT HAVE ENDURANCE lalalalala.
Add maths are frigging killing my brain cells. I spent the whole Christmas on my maths homework and yet was still unable to finish it.
PT3 results sucks. For hell yeah. I was in total terrible form for the whole friggin term, what could I expect? The most terrible result I ever had and it was an important examination, what the hell. I am mad I am sad but tired as well. It was expected after all. I had no idea for my abnormalities. My guesses were the sudden change of format and slow to adapt the newest situation. And this friggin situation continues for the next two years. I can see where my future ends. Haha.
Being emo for two weeks forced me into realizing that I wasn't always the top. I don't get good results just because I used to get them. I could fail. I am an average. This kinda thought never occurred to me for the past 15 years. I was being agnorant for so friggin long and I didn't notice it. I thought I had prepared like how I usually do, perhaps i did not. I wanted to get up and maybe I will. I dared not to say that I can get back for definite. That's really kinda how I face my PT3results. Yes I do admit I am really disappointed. But that disappointment wasn't from how many As I got but from the grim reminder of how terrible I did for the whole term.
In my family, there's always this tradition to give money as a congratulation after you received your examination results. RM10 per A. And yet they gave 100 even though I got 9 As. They said that I was 10As in their hearts. The extra 10 weighed their hopes for me. I should be glad for the extra money. But I hate the fact they were extras. Giving me more than I should , isn't that humilating me? I know it was just a 5mark gap, but 5 marks were definitely not some careless mistake, they were the evidence of my incapability. I'm sorry that I am so friggin sensitive but it's not like I want to be.
Anyway, this will be my lesson learnt from 2014.
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