Yesterday was like the official conclusion for my 11 years of study. Fortunately, it was pretty good, it topped my expectations but with a little bit of imperfections. Yea, i didn't get a straight, but I'm satisfied with it. Only that, I may have let some of my teachers down.
Anyhow, I didnt seem to be overjoyed like many others expected me to be. How can I be happy when I now gained even more burden than ever? Now, I have bigger upper-hand, but accompanying with greater expectations, and also enormous stress. I am now expected to save 400k-500k for my parents, which I hardly think I have the ability to do so. Backing down and choosing a decent university which I label it as my comfort zone would be just a cowardice act, a selfish thought.
Yes, I do realize I am lacking confidence, or having any crumbles of it. I am always not the on-stage kind of person, debate no, public speaking no .
The more I type, the more I feel like I'm whining like a useless puppy. Argh. I never felt so dissatisfied of myself.
I might be the only person who would get depression on getting flying colours haha.
